Lose weight, quit smoking, abstain from alcohol, go to the gym regularly, save money… The central place on your New Year’s resolution list may belong to something else, but that does not change the essence: You intend to get rid of bad and acquire healthier habits according to Life coaching counselling Toronto.
What are the chances that you will succeed?
The concept of the New Year’s resolution is interesting in itself. It is related to the efforts of Christian Puritans, at the beginning of the 18th century, to turn the celebration of the New Year, an ancient pagan custom of organizing celebrations in honor of Janus, the two-faced god, into a holy day. However, the practice of the Puritans to commit to greater devotion to God in the transition from the old to the new year, through religious resolutions, soon took on a secular character, and New Year’s resolutions became a symbol of individual effort to self-improvement.
Ask yourself, at the end of every day, week, month and year.
Could I have done better in any way? Today, such resolutions are commonplace. Along with summing up, a kind of evaluation of the one-year period from a personal point of view, self-commitment to change one’s behavior is one of the favorite “sports” for the end of the year.
The question is, however, how to implement the desired transformations, i.e., what to do so that the New Year’s list of resolutions does not remain a list of beautiful and unfulfilled wishes.
Pop star Lady Gaga comes out with the following motivational advice: “It’s nice to receive awards, but you know what?” When I sell a bunch of records, I take all the platinum off the wall. I pretend I haven’t sold any, so then I have to do it all over again. ” In essence, Lady Gaga warns of the danger of success indicators (trophies hanging on the wall) replacing real success (winning new trophies); those symbols replace reality.
If you believe and act as if you have already achieved your goals, it will happen. These are two diametrically opposed strategies. Fearing that the symbols of success could plunge her and thus become an obstacle to conquering new peaks, Gaga deliberately removes memories of her real successes from sight.
Let psychological science decide which of the two is right. As a person matures, the primary process recedes, and secondary processes enter the scene, which are based on reason and take reality into account: As adults, we are able to postpone gratification, even endure pain if such a thing is necessary to realize our plans.
Positive fantasies vs. positive expectations
Fortunately, the interest of psychologists in the topic of fantasies did not remain within the limits of psychoanalysis.
In general, it is good to have a positive attitude towards one’s own future, but one should be at least careful about indulging in positive fantasies about the future.
Positive expectations are based on previous experience; for example, you expect to pass the exam because you have prepared in a way that has proven successful in the past.
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